Empowering Millie: My Wonder Woman's mental health journey

Millie dressed as Wonder Woman for World Book Day 2024

Millie's mental health journey began with a diagnosis of Hip Dysplasia and Perthes Disease at a young age. This was following intense pain, and a hospital admission that left a lasting trauma, deeply impacting her self-confidence. The older Millie got, the clearer it became that she was experiencing fear, self-doubt, and the challenges of life with a rare condition. With support from Kids Inspire Millie and her family found comfort and strength, helping reshape her outlook on life.

In this blog, Millie’s mother, Michelle shares her daughter’s story and why Millie’s her Wonder Woman. 

Millie’s story

Millie was diagnosed with hip dysplasia at 16 days old and then Perthes Disease at the age of three. She went from hopping and skipping to walking differently, to being completely bedbound. It got to the point where Millie was constantly experiencing intense pain, and because of her age, she didn’t understand what was going on. She didn't know why she felt that way, why she was in so much pain, why she couldn't move.

During the hospital visit when they diagnosed the Perthes Disease, the extreme pain caused her to have out-of-body experiences. She wasn’t herself at all. She was petrified of everyone and everything, even the nurses couldn’t take her stats because she was so scared.

She was so young. Often you think when a child is that young they won’t remember, but you do remember things as a child, and it had a massive toll on her mental health. It had caused her trauma which only came to light later.

It was from the age of six that we really noticed the effect this was all having on her mental health. Lockdown rules had lifted and she was going back to school. Millie felt afraid to talk about how she was feeling. We know now this was because she had the fear of going back to hospital and reliving the same experience. It had stuck with her.

Birthdays were always a tricky time. Some families know that she can’t always do the same things as other children like going to trampoline parks or soft play because of the impact this would have on her. Millie’s not able to run, jump or do any high impact activities. For example, she struggles with being on sand, or on mud for too long because of the weight. The ground is not strong or supportive enough that it then causes her pain. This means that sometimes Millie doesn’t get invited to parties.

All of this led to her struggling with her mental health. As a family, we weren’t always sure how to approach her. She was often on edge, worrying about everything and questioning herself. Millie would constantly say ‘why can’t I be like my friends? Why me? Why can’t I do this?’. She was feeling really isolated. That fear of hospitals was always there too. She was really low and looking at her life with a negative perspective. She didn’t have a love for herself or who she was. She’s got so many other strengths, but at that time she couldn’t focus on the positives.

Reaching out for help and getting support from Kids Inspire

One of the hardest things I found was how to respond to Millie and how to help her. As a parent, I knew what was going on, and how she felt was out of my control. I needed to find some support for her. I know that speaking out and asking for help is one of the best things you can do, especially when children can’t always do that for themselves.

I contacted the GP and they got in touch with Kids Inspire. At the age of seven, Millie had a 10-week Art Psychotherapy course with Wendy. She really clicked with her.

The life-changing difference since Millie's support from Kids Inspire

Millie and mother Michelle

After Millie finished her time with Kids Inspire, she came home with a bag full of bits she had made, and she was extremely proud of this. Some things she kept to herself, but we also read through some together. As a parent, this helped me gain a better understanding her emotions. We've learned the importance of us all being open with each other.

The most notable change has been the disappearance of the constant 'why?' questions. I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I couldn't tell you the last time she asked, 'Why can't I do that?' or 'Why have they all been invited to a party and I haven't?'. Millie has finally been able to process what's happened to her and has embraced her differences.

She's a lot more relaxed and content, even on days out when we take her wheelchair. She knows it's okay to sit down, especially on those longer days when it can be uncomfortable for her being on her feet. She's become more accepting of her body, and what she finds difficult and understands that it's okay to feel the way she does. She recognises her own strengths – she's very creative and crafty!

She's truly processed that what happened, happened for a reason, and it's empowering her to be the best version of herself. Yes, there are bumps along the road, but she understands that's okay. She's got this superpower. I've always called her 'Wonder Woman,' and she always will be in my eyes. And now, she loves any moment to dress up as her!

Advice for families seeking support

My advice to other families would be ask for help. Whether that’s from the GP, directly to Kids Inspire, talking to friends, the school – just speak to someone. I spent months feeling helpless, not knowing how to address my feelings and the emotions, but seeking help to address the trauma allowed us all acceptance.

It was the best thing we ever did, and it has made a huge difference to our family. Millie is a lot happier, and more resilient. The days are a lot brighter now.

It doesn’t mean there aren’t down days because there are, but she now understands it’s okay to let it out. It’s okay to have a little cry and that speaks for me too. As a mum I still cry at times about it, but they are moments and that’s okay. A tear here and there doesn’t hurt because it’s also a way of healing.

Please ask for help if you need it.

About Perthes Disease

Perthes' disease affects the blood supply to the head of the thigh bone, which causes the bone to deteriorate. This can cause pain, limping and limited movement of the hip joint. Perthes affects one in 10,000 children with 1 in 5 being girls. Michelle recommends two other charities for anyone looking for further information. Steps Worldwide is the main charity for lower limb conditions and Perthes Kids is a Perthes Disease specialist charity. Millie has also had incredible support from her consultant at Broomfield Hospital, Mr Pranai Buddhdev (The Kids Bone Doc).