Meet Our Mentors 2022: Pete O’Riley
To help celebrate and honour our fabulous volunteer mentors, we have been showcasing some of them across our ‘Meet Our Mentors’ campaign. Today we will be exploring our second featured mentor, Pete O’Riley.
A mentor offers our young people a safe place to discuss any issues and supports them to access new experiences, explore interests and develop new life skills. The mentor and mentee relationship is an opportunity for the mentee to improve their self-confidence, resilience and emotional wellbeing.
Young people are referred into the mentoring scheme through school, professionals, or parents. A mentor meets with their mentee on a regular basis, usually for an hour once a week. It is a joint decision between the mentor and mentee what they do with their time. This is often based on the mentee’s interests and hobbies, what is available in the community and what they feel comfortable with, but it could be to go for a walk, enjoy a hot drink and snack or perhaps visit a local place of interest.
Pete O’Riley
Next up as part of our ‘Meet Our Mentors’ campaign is Pete O’Riley. Pete has been volunteering with us as a mentor for around 18 months, and has just started his 3rd mentee relationship.
“I spend only one hour a week with my mentee, but that's enough to make such a difference. You don't need to have any special qualities; just be yourself.”
Tell us about yourself & how you first came across Kids Inspire?
Hi. I'm Pete O'Riley. I'm 65 and live in Witham with my wife Gill and Ralph our cavapoo (a small but lively dog).
Our daughter Pippa moved out a year ago to live with Alex her boyfriend. I worked in the Bank of England for the first twenty one years of my working life and ended up, until I retired eighteen months ago, at Nat West. For much of my forty five year career in finance I was involved in people development with a main focus on leadership and management. I loved helping people improve themselves, so I guess on reflection, that's probably why I've ended up helping Kids Inspire.
What type of mentoring do you do at Kids Inspire?
I've been a Mentor at KI for eighteen months now and, having helped (I was going to say "worked with" but it's isn't really that sort of relationship) two young people I'm about to start with a third. I am very clear about what's expected of me in my role.
Being a "professional friend" sums it up neatly. I'm not expected, nor indeed qualified, to advise or counsel but simply to offer the opportunity for my mentor to have a friend with whom they can talk with and feel comfortable and secure and valued.
What’s your favourite part of being a mentor at Kids Inspire?
Building a bond and a trust.
It's a lovely feeling when you know that your friendship is valued and that in some way, no matter how small or obscure, you're helping someone to enjoy life and overcome any issues. I know it's a big cliché but there's a real sense of achievement.
In both my relationships it's taken some time and patience, and a few knock backs. That's part of the challenge, and the ultimate satisfaction.
How would you explain the role of a mentor to someone who was new to the charity and our work?
Being a good friend. Nothing more.
Someone to talk with and who listens without being judgemental, whilst also being fun. Someone who offers something different that isn't already part of your life. Someone who appreciates you and accepts you for who you are and what you do. No hidden agendas or ulterior motives. They are firm but fair when appropriate.
A mentor certainly has views and opinions, that may differ from their mentee, but explains these in a way that is not threatening or patronising.
What advice would you give to someone thinking about becoming a mentor at Kids Inspire?
Go for it!!
It is such a rewarding experience that needn't take over your life. I spend only one hour a week with my mentee, but that's enough to make such a difference. You don't need to have any special qualities; just be yourself.
Can you tell us a personal highlight or story since you became a mentor at Kids Inspire?
That's an easy one. At the end of my first relationship (we had met on twenty occasions, which tends to be the normal length of the relationship) my mentee's mother said to me "thank you so much, I feel like I have got my son back".
That's special. It makes me emotional even thinking about it to know that I've had a part in helping a family become stronger. There's not many roles that enable that kind of feeling.
Do you have any guilty pleasures?
If I have a guilty pleasure it's drinking a glass of nice red wine with a bar of chocolate.
Whilst watching Man Utd on TV ( ideally winning! ) with Ralph snuggled up next to me on his back with his legs in the air.
Perfection!
So we know a little more about you, when you’re not at work what are you most likely to be doing?
I'm never at work!
I highly recommend retirement. My biggest challenge now is getting my golf handicap down.
Thank you for your time and all your mentoring work for Kids Inspire Pete, we loved hearing more about your personal journey.
Mentoring is a fulfilling role and you will have a direct, positive influence on a child or young person’s life. If you feel inspired to discover more about becoming a mentor, please visit our dedicated mentor volunteering page.
Do you know a young person who may benefit from 1:1 mentoring with a peer or adult? Make a referral here.