Preparing and supporting your children mentally in their return to school this September
With children and young people across the UK about to head back to school and with some embarking on a transition to a new school, children's mental health and wellbeing is an prominent issue on the mind of many parents and our therapists.
We know first-hand that returning to the classroom can cause a spike in anxiety-related symptoms and stress, especially since the Covid-19 pandemic. That's why it's so crucial for parents to understand why their children may be feeling anxious before school term starts, signs of school-related anxiety, and how they can play a role in supporting their children in their return to school.
Back-to-school-related anxiety is normal and understandable. Especially after having six weeks off at home during a long Summer break, and may be used to their parents' daily interactions and play. Transitions can be hard for children and young people at any time but are significantly heightened by the back-to-school experience.
Regardless of each child's personal struggles, parents can help ease the transition back to school by being able to recognise the symptoms of stress and anxiety, and implementing some creative strategies. Communication is key to creating an open dialogue with your child and understanding their feelings. Acting as a support network and comfort before transitioning back to school will help develop a sense of security for any young person.
Sue Bell, our CEO and Clinical Director, discusses parents' main concerns in the lead-up towards returning to school and shares some advice in how to handle this difficult transition.
“Transitions are challenging for most of us. Returning to work after a long weekend. Saying goodbye to loved ones. Changing jobs. Our young people are not exempt from feelings of anxiety at the thought of returning to school after a six week break. As adults we can listen with empathy at their fears (often of the unknown) and make sure that their transition back to school is not a rushed one. Give space for a restful nights sleep, a calm morning, nutritious breakfast and a moment to name any fears along with at least three hopes for the day.”
And for those young people who struggle with feelings of anxiety, don’t be afraid to ask for help.
What are the make causes of back-to-school related anxiety and stress?
Covid-19 concerns
Returning to school may feel extra intimidating or even scary for students who spent months out of traditional in-person classrooms due to the Covid-19 pandemic. This might be especially true if they had classes online throughout 2020/21. In addition, those children starting school for the first time or starting secondary school may not have built up the social skills and resilience needed to transition comfortably into a new school.
Some children are still feeling worried about wearing masks and not being vaccinated. The heightened need for hand-washing and sanitisation may have created elements of OCD (Obsessive Compulsion Disorder). Imagine being told daily by your parents, the news and officials to wear masks, sanitise hands and keep 2 metres to suddenly being thrown in a busy school without any of these precautions required. Try and emphasise this new way of living and moving back to ‘normal’ with your child and put yourself in their shoes. For some, Covid-19 became normality and all they know.
Problems at School
It’s a common worry for most parents that their child is having issues at school and are unknown to them. However, more often than not, a child or young person will not willingly express concerns about bullying. For many young people, the Summer break and time away from school was a welcome respite from mean behaviour and teasing, so a new school year will quickly bring feelings of anxiety and stress back to the forefront.
Social media creates back-to-school anxiety, as children and young people may be anxious about appearance-related issues. Children from lower-income families or living in poverty may worry about not having the right clothes or even school supplies, let alone the best brands and assets. The Summer break can also bring changes in appearances, especially during puberty, such as acne, weight gain or needing glasses. Any feelings of being different or out of place may cause concerns in your child, leading to anxiety.
Problems at school do not always have to be bully-related, so it’s important to have honest discussions with your child about any worries or feelings they have about school. For example, have they been in close contact with their friends over the Summer? Do they dislike a teacher in particular? Are they coping in their sets? Do they want to try out for a school sports team? Get to know all about your child’s school life and what is going on each term.
There are countless reasons why kids may experience anxiety and stress as the first day of school approaches, each as unique as they are!
Problems at Home
Any stress or trauma within a child’s home life can quickly reflect school-related anxiety. Therefore, it is good to note or be aware of any anxiety-related events at home or over the summer that may impact your child. These could be as minimal as a new bedroom or house to more traumatic events such as suffering a family or pet bereavement.
Signs of anxiety - how do children present signs of back-to-school stress?
Look out for your child’s non-verbal and verbal signals to support their mental wellbeing and back-to-school-related anxiety. Sometimes a young person may present their emotions and stress without actually speaking out.
In the build-up to returning to school, perhaps weeks or even days before, it’s good to look out for some of the following signs and behaviours.
Signs of anxiety in Children
When kids are anxious, they may not know how to put their feelings into words. Instead, look for clues and signals in their behaviour. Kids who are experiencing anxiety may show some or all of the following traits:
Appear more clingy than normal
Be restless and fidgety
Complain of stomach aches or pains
Display changes in eating and sleeping habits
Express negative thoughts or worries
Get upset or angry more quickly than usual
Have episodes of unexplained crying
Struggling to concentrate.
Image Source: Very Well Family
How to help ease your child’s back-to-school anxiety
It’s good to understand how your role as a parent or carer for a child can help with their transitions back to school this September. Maintaining open communications throughout the year and in the build-up to returning to school is crucial for their sense of security and trust.
Some ways a parent or carer can help their child with school-related anxiety:
A week or two before school, start preparing children for the upcoming transition by resuming school-year routines, such as setting a realistic bedtime and selecting tomorrow’s clothes.
Discuss the positives around returning to school when your child is calm and during play, speak about seeing familiar teachers, friends, and surroundings. Do they have a favourite play area or activity they love to do in school?
Try arranging play dates with one or more familiar friends before school starts. It has been proven that the presence of a familiar friend during school transitions can improve children’s academic and emotional adjustment.
Speak to the school about any help or support they can give you. Can they let you visit once before school officially re-opens?
If so, visit the school before the school year begins, rehearse the drop-off and spend time on the playground or inside the classroom if the building is open. Have your child practice walking into class while you wait outside or down the hall.
Come up with an incentive, prize or a rewarding activity that the child could earn for each day they manage to attend school quickly in the first few weeks.
Empathise with your child’s worry by acknowledging that, like any new activity, starting school again can be challenging but soon becomes easy and fun. Think back to the reasons behind anxiety and any areas in particular that are difficult for your child.
Transition Training
When helping children with transitions, getting their attention is important. Some valuable techniques could be making eye contact, sitting next to them, practising breathing exercises, putting your hand on their shoulder or even asking them to repeat back what you said.
When your child does well with a transition at home or on a practice run, praise them! You can also give them a small reward like a star or a point towards a new toy.
Once they can transition easily, perhaps after the first week back at school, you can phase out the rewards. When transitions do not go according to plan, try not to shame the child and give the behaviour too much energy or attention, focusing more on the positive moments.
If you think our services would be useful for you or your child, please visit our Contact Us page for more information on referrals or email clinicaladmin@kidsinspire.org.uk
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