Mentoring To Support A Child’s Mental Health
At Kids Inspire we pride ourselves in making a lasting difference to a child’s mental health. One of the ways we do this is by working alongside 78 trained volunteer mentors.
This month we have had the pleasure of interviewing and training 20 new mentors, but more about this later. First, we thought we would answer a few burning questions about our mentoring project…
What is Mentoring?
To us, mentoring is a trained volunteer guiding a young person (mentee) by building a trusting relationship and modelling positive behaviours in a fun and caring environment. Our mentors do this by committing one hour a week to spending time with a matched mentee, getting to know them and putting into practice the valuable skills gained during training.
The mentor will offer the young mentee a safe place to discuss any issues they might be experiencing or to support them in exploring interests and developing new life skills.
How does it work?
A mentor and mentee will meet regularly, in a space that is based on interests and hobbies and what is available in the community. It will be somewhere the mentee feels comfortable, an example could be going for a walk, enjoying a hot drink and snack or perhaps a visit to a local place of interest.
The commitment from the mentor provides a young mentee with consistency from a supportive relationship formed outside of their friends and family. Through training, the mentor will have gained skills to support a mentee to improve their:
self-confidence
resilience
emotional wellbeing.
How Do We Find Our Mentees?
Young people are referred to the mentoring scheme through schools, professionals, or parents. Our mentoring service is most often accessed as a step down from clinical support or when a child needs early help.
Recent Training
Team work! New mentors during training
Skills gained in training are the foundation to build a positive relationship, and interestingly one of the most important skills the mentors gain is how to ’end’ the relationship. The ‘ending’, for some of our young people, is the part that may have been missing from other relationships, or one that happened unexpectedly and they haven't been able to process. Once a mentor and mentee agree that it is time for their relationship to end – often after 20 meetings – the ending will need to reflect that not all relationships ending is unhealthy. And that actually, moving on from some relationships can help you to grow your resilience and to appreciate what a healthy relationship looks like.
Other elements of the mentoring training covers:
expectations of being a mentor, what is the role of a mentor and what is not
the structure of mentoring i.e. beginnings, middles and ends
attachment styles
boundaries within the mentoring relationship
the importance of ‘presence’ in the relationship, and barriers that may impact this.
The training can often be a time when a mentor may reflect on their own experiences:
“I felt heartened being in a room of like-minded, positive people, all of us passionate about volunteering our time to make a difference in a young person's life. It was especially moving listening to current mentors as this deepened my understanding of the role and motivated me more. I also had a couple of lightbulb moments as I identified and reflected on those who, I hadn't previously realised, had taken on a mentoring role in my own life." – Adam, Volunteer Mentor
Our Mentors:
A big part of a mentor’s role is to listen, to simply hear and to learn about the young person they have been matched with. Their time together can often be spent offering a listening ear. It is time just for them and is important time away from their social circle to reflect on their wellbeing.
Of course, being a mentor is not all about the mentee it can have a positive impact on our mentors’ lives too:
“Rewarding is the best way to describe how I feel, but on that note, I too find it a real honour to be trusted and invited into my mentee’s life, albeit for a short time.” – Carole, Volunteer Mentor
“I am quite a shy person with people I don't know - when I know someone, I am the polar opposite - Mentoring was a big challenge for me but I find it has helped me overcome my shyness in many ways.” – Martyn, Volunteer Mentor
“At the end of my first relationship, my mentee's mother said to me "thank you so much, I feel like I have got my son back". That's special. It makes me emotional even thinking about it to know that I've had a part in helping a family become stronger. There are not many roles that enable that kind of feeling.” – Pete, Volunteer Mentor
We are humbled by the commitment from all of our mentors and feel privileged to know them. From May 2022 to April 2023, collectively, our volunteers supported children and their families by gifting 6,305 hours to them. Our 78 mentors will have made up a huge number of these hours. Thank you all!
If you are interested in learning more about mentoring, please get in touch.