Why I chose a charity collection instead of flowers for my Father’s funeral
Why a charity collection? Read on to understand why our blog writer chose a charity collection instead of flowers at her father’s funeral.
Let me start by saying that when I lost my father every decision that had to be made about his funeral arrangements felt really difficult. I felt that all of the decisions I was making had an impact not just on my grieving process, but on everyone else that cared about him too. Looking back, the decision to have a charity collection instead of flowers was the easiest and best decision I had made about the arrangements.
There were two driving factors that really helped me to make the decision that I did. The symbolic meaning that flowers had pushed me away from the idea of flower arrangements. My Father’s personality and nature helped me make the decision to hold a charitable collection.
Flowers and in particular lilies are used at funerals to express sympathy and condolences. Losing a loved one is devastating but I wanted the funeral to celebrate his life rather than mourn his death. Lilies and all they stood for simply didn’t fit with this intention.
I considered the possibility of incorporating bright and more cheerful flowers, but in all honesty, I didn’t like the idea of them dying. While this may sound irrational – of course flowers die - I wasn’t prepared at that time to watch another beautiful thing fade. Flowers are, of course very symbolic of the cycle of life and death, but given that we were all attending a funeral, we were already painfully aware of that cycle. Instead of acknowledging this cycle in yet another way, I wanted something lasting and meaningful.
My Father throughout his life had been a generous man; he had always been a regular supporter of several charities, and he would always be the first to help a person in need. Choosing to request contributions for a chosen charity, rather than flowers therefore made complete sense. The money could be used to create something positive and lasting. It didn’t matter how much the donations totalled, if people only put in £1 each it wouldn’t matter, what mattered is that something so sad for all of us gathered could lend to something good for others.
In this time of bereavement, I could acknowledge that I was supported by loved ones and friends. I could also acknowledge that I was lucky to have my father around throughout my younger developmental years.
I chose to donate to Kids Inspire because I wanted our experience of grief to support another family through theirs.
-ends-
Bereavements happen every day, sometimes those bereavements take away a parent, leaving a newly single parent struggling through their grief while trying to manage their children’s grief. Kids Inspire specialises in trauma, and one of the challenges we support children and families with is bereavement.
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MuchLoved is the UK’s leading in-memory platform, where you can remember someone special and fundraise in their memory. To date, they have helped over 300,000 bereaved people create their own personalised and free online memorial in memory of a loved one.
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