Devastatingly, the number of suicides in England and Wales is at the highest since 1999 as reported by the Office for National Statistics. It's more important than ever to remove the stigma around talking about it. Sadly, children can and do experience feelings of crisis too. As a children’s mental health charity, we understand how distressing it is for a parent or carer to learn that their child is having suicidal thoughts. Two of our clinical team, Helen Robins, an integrative child and adolescent psychotherapist, alongside Amy Fennel, a psychodynamic counsellor have shared some of the ways a parent or child can support a child with suicidal ideation. This blog aims to help parents or any adult caring for a child navigate this difficult situation with understanding, care, and practical strategies. 

Initial shock: Accepting your feelings as a parent or carer 

It’s natural for a parent to feel shocked or overwhelmed when their child expresses suicidal thoughts. The first step is to acknowledge these feelings without letting them cloud your response to your child. Helen, our integrative child and adolescent psychotherapist, says, “It can be hard and shocking hearing the child you love express not wanting to be in the world." Understanding and accepting your own emotional response will help you be present and supportive for your child, rather than reacting from a place of fear or panic. 

Understanding suicidal ideation 

Not all suicidal thoughts are the same. Some children may experience fleeting thoughts, while others may have more detailed plans. Both types of thoughts should be taken seriously, but understanding which your child is experiencing helps you know how best to support them. 

Amy, our psychodynamic counsellor highlights, "All suicidal people are ambivalent; part of them wants to die, but part of them wants to live as well." By helping your child connect with the part that wants to live, you are on the right path to guiding them toward safety.  

Opening up communication

One of the best ways a parent can help is by creating an open, non-judgemental line of communication. Helen highlights the importance of "building that connection between parent and child, helping a child feel profoundly understood in that moment." If your child struggles to express their feelings verbally, encourage alternative or creative ways of communication. Some children may find it easier to share difficult emotions in writing, via text, or email—methods they often use to communicate with friends. Or, some children may feel more comfortable if you position yourself beside them, like on a walk or a drive, relieving the pressure of eye contact when talking about something so difficult for them.

You can also establish non-verbal signals for when your child is feeling low, like a code word, a small object, or another discreet method. One child Helen worked with used a small figure to indicate to their parent when they were struggling.

It’s important with talking about mental health that once started, they become ongoing conversations. Remind your child that it’s okay to come back and talk more when they’re ready, creating a safe space for dialogue over time.  

Creating a safety plan

Developing a safety plan can help both you and your child feel more secure. This plan might include calming activities, like listening to music, having a warm drink, or snuggling under a duvet—actions that bring comfort and distraction, helping overwhelming feelings to pass. Encourage your child to use this plan when they start to feel low, giving them positive steps to take.

By creating this safety net, you show your child that you’re there for them, and that there are positive actions they can take when they're struggling.

Normalising a child’s emotions 

Children need to understand that it’s okay to feel what they’re feeling. Instead of dismissing or avoiding these thoughts, help them acknowledge and explore them. Helen suggests “Try slowing everything down and helping them just to notice it... not be scared... it’s a thought, it’s a sensation... What do you notice?” Mindfulness and curiosity about their feelings can help them recognise that these thoughts, while distressing, are not permanent or uncontrollable. 

Seeking professional help 

While parental support is crucial, professional help is often necessary. Therapy provides a safe space for children to express their thoughts away from their family, but it’s also important for parents to stay involved. If the therapist feels the child’s safety is at risk, they will break confidentiality to involve parents or guardians in safeguarding the child. 

Helen reminds us that therapy offers an hour or so of support each week, but “children need their adults around them for support, guidance, help, and comfort” in their daily lives. Once the relationship with a therapist ends it is the adults around the child that remain. This is part of the reason that Kids Inspire places so much emphasis on family support, so that the child has adults in their life that have the same level of understanding as they have gained through therapy.  

The importance of talking about suicidal thoughts 

Many parents and carers fear that talking about suicide will increase the risk of their child acting on those thoughts. However, Helen explains, "Talking about it can be healing, instead of it just staying underground." Addressing the issue openly allows children to feel less alone and helps them manage their feelings in a more positive way. 

Amy adds that connection is key, both in therapy and at home: "Many young people believe nobody would care if they left." By showing your child that you care deeply and that they are not alone, you help create a strong support system that can make all the difference.  

Summary  

Supporting a child through suicidal thoughts is one of the most challenging things a parent or carer can face. Every child is individual in what they need, but with openness, understanding, and practical strategies, you can help guide them towards safety. By creating a space for honest communication, developing a safety plan, and seeking professional support when needed, you show your child that they are not alone. Remember that talking about suicidal thoughts doesn’t increase the risk, it can be a crucial part of the healing process. But with every part of recovery, it is important to understand that it takes time. By offering non-judgemental support, you help your child connect with the part of them that wants to live, and that connection can be life-changing and life-saving.  

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Kids Inspire is a children’s mental health charity. We provide free specialist trauma support for children and families who would not otherwise be able to afford it.   

Please note: Kids Inspire is not a crisis emergency organisation. Outside of 9am-5pm, if you or your child is at immediate risk, please contact the crisis service related to your concern: 

NHS111 Mental Health - Dial 111 and select the option for mental health crisis (24 hours a day) 

Your GP or your nearest A&E 

Emotional Wellbeing Mental Health Service Crisis Team – 0300 555 1201 

Family Operations Hub – 0345 606 1212 (weekend line)